THE POKER MONKEY...your Source for Perpetual Insanity!: BRING ON FOOTBALL SEASON...and CIRCUIT SEASON. BRING ON FOOTBALL SEASON...and CIRCUIT SEASON. Hello again.  Been formulating ideas in my head to write about over the past month or two. Had an "interesting" day of poker at the Beau a few weeks back that had me inspired to put […]

THE POKER MONKEY...your Source for Perpetual Insanity!: BRING ON FOOTBALL SEASON...and CIRCUIT SEASON. BRING ON FOOTBALL SEASON...and CIRCUIT SEASON. Hello again.  Been formulating ideas in my head to write about over the past month or two. Had an "interesting" day of poker at the Beau a few weeks back that had me inspired to put pen to paper, as it were. Sometimes, especially in poker, you see things that simply deserve to be shared with someone...ANYONE! One thing I know that I never did...or rather HAVEN'T done share the cool details of my trip to Scotland and London that preceded my trip out to Vegas for this year's eventual disappointing WSOP event. I have to confess...I find myself, the older I get...getting more and more private and unwilling to share personal details that in the past I was always fairly eager to share. Maybe it's a sense that there are just fewer people who actually CARE. Maybe it's a conscious effort to remain more private. I'm not exactly sure. Or, maybe it's just a feeling that as I've gotten much more successful in my business life...that excessive posting of accomplishments and/or acquisitions comes off as being cocky or braggadocios. And that is the LAST thing I want to do. So I suppose it's a hard line to draw. What is too much? What is not enough? What is just the right amount of sharing my personal details? I don't know. So...yeah...back to this night I had at the Beau Rivage. I went to play their Tuesday tourney. It's a senior's event...but it's about 60/40 Seniors to non-Seniors. I got there a little late. I sit down. 1st hand...with 200 up front...having posted to play before the blind...I pick up K10 suited at cutoff. It folds to me. Feels like a reasonable spot to raise. So I make it 600. SB calls with KJ. BB calls with I don't know. Flop comes 10-7-5. Very good flop for me. Right? You'd think. He checks. I bet 1100. No problem. He has overs. He calls. Turn...Jack. Of course. He checks. I check back this time. River is an irritating king. Ugh. He tank bets 3000. I call...see his hand...and wonder what the FUCK possessed him to call the flop bet. Whatever. I bust a couple hands later and walk over to rebuy.  Next table...I say a silent prayer to myself: "Please, let this table be better than that one." Ha! Sorry, such luck! Literally saw what I believe to be the worst poker player I've ever seen. And I've seen a LOT of bad players in my 15 years. It was an older lady. I knew things were screwy when...after a flop, and first to act, she stated that she would like to "raise to 600." Yup. She was first to act. Oh boy. Tip of the iceberg. It's hard to tell you which was my favorite...and by favorite, I mean, eye-openingly bizarre. But I will give you two. It should be noted...she had managed to chip playing horrifyingly bad, and just getting lucky. Her 8k starting stack was up to about 45k in Level 3. Oh...she played a lot of EVERY hand. But she rarely raised. Always limped...then it simply didn't MATTER how much someone raised...she was in there.  So here's HAND #1. She limps in with 10-6 (can't remember if it was suited, doesn't matter). Guy next to her raises it from 400 to 1600. Well...then the button makes it 6000. Yeah. 6k. What does she do? Insta-muck right? Nawwww. She tanks...then struggles to understand what her options are. She finally figures it out and calls the 6k. Wow. Well, now the next guy...who by the way has QQ...goes all in for about 27k. The guy on the button...who has, duh....ACES...also goes all in...she's confused once again. When it's explained to her...she calls. She has them both covered. The flop brings a 6...and everyone starts to cringe a little. Turn gives her a straight draw. Not one person at the table thought she would miss on the river. But somehow she did. Aces held up. Miraculous. And now she was crippled. Ah hand is enough right? She was out a few hands later...again getting it in horribly.  How did I fare at that table? Not much better. My gosh...I don't even remember now how I went out. Oh wait...yeah I do. I got cut in half on a hand...then on a 5-way limped pot for 600....I shoved all in for 9500'ish with AJ in the SB. The BB looks down at the mighty 7-8 offsuit...and decides to call. Why? No clue. Everyone else folded...except the button....who also turns out having AJ. We both felt good when the flop came 9-10-J....or though we did. The other AJ guy goes all in. Bye Bye. Both of us. Unreal.  Then I went and played an extremely maniacal game of 5/5 PLO. In for 1000. Couple of brutal beats later...I was busto. Bought back in for 2000. Played for about 2 hours...and managed to run that up to 3250...then decided to go home in time to give Carley her much-relied upon hug and kiss goodnight. It was actually a pretty fun game, with some entertaining guys playing.  Haven't been back out of my cave to go play since. Wanted to play the monthly 50k guarantee...but Squirrel went out of town for the weekend and I was stuck watching Carley, so had to pass. I haven't played online at all either. A husband/wife team asked my permission to use my "Minions WSOP" private Facebook page to advertise a new poker club that operates on a cool app where you can play from your phone. They ran satellites that allowed people to win shares for my team this summer. It's pretty cool. They are really trustworthy and super organized. They're even shipping me a month rake back bonus...not that I ever asked for it, need it, or even care. But it's just an indication of how classy they are. I recently was sent an invitation to join this other private page on Facebook...a page with a name like "Weaselbag Deadbeats" or something...and it features people basically calling people out for stiffing other people.  Talk about a who's who of assholes and losers. Is that redundant? I scrolled down the list one night...and amusingly, I actually found some people POSTING about OTHER people who owed ME money still! I didn't post anything, other than that emoji of that guy scratching his chin, as if to be saying..."Hmmmmm." But two things came to mind: (1) this couple appears to be in the minority, running a rock-solid, credible poker club...that always pays it winners and (2) I am SO thankful that I am not living on that layer of society where people basically live buyin to buyin, who are constantly looking for ways to angle-shoot people to gain an edge. Or just plain scam people. I am so thankful that I can afford it when some dirtbag, piece of shit riddles me with excuses why he (or she! Yeah...women are also capable of being deadbeats!) can't pay me the money they owe me. For whatever it may be....a small personal loan, money owed to me for poker staking, or money owed to me for a fantasy league...of which I run a lot of...or one of my pools that I run. It all adds up. And that number is a six-figure number over the last decade. It's really kind of hard to believe that there are THAT MANY scumbags in the world...but they do kind of seem to gravitate together, and a lot of them seem to have addiction issues. So I just try to rationalize it as being the price of doing business, or doing favors. MOST people are good. MOST people will satisfy their obligations. MOST people..if they don't have a way to pay you right away....WILL try to stay in touch with you, and work out a payment plan. But those who don't? Ugh. Fuck 'em. I'm convinced there is no amount of shame you can heap upon them that will ever make them change into a person who wants to be respected by all. They just don't give a shit. I can't imagine going through life like that...I've always prided myself as a person who simply doesn't borrow money from people. And if I owe money for can be ANYTHING...I want to pay it, and pay it quickly.  So yeah...anyway.  If you are someone that is possibly interested in that aforementioned poker club...shoot me an email to and I will give you their info. It's football season almost! If you are interested in my pools...which have grown a LOT and now feature some pretty damn good prize pools after running them for almost 25 can email me at I would invite you to join one of my FIVE NFL Fantasy Leagues...that feature 72 total teams...but I'm down to just 3 by the time you could email me...they will most likely already be full.  I think I mentioned in my previous blog post that I am going up to Milwaukee September 9th to (a) get my cataract in my left eye fixed...that developed as a result of my detached retina surgery that I had last November 5th. Another bad beat! and (b) to play the tail end of the WSOP Circuit Event at that casino up there that I can never get the name right on. My mother and sister live together up there, so I will be staying with them. They tend to get pretty good turnouts for their events, and I've never played up there, so I'm somewhat excited to get my feet wet up there. I'm fairly certain I can expect my mom and sister to hit me up for a couple of buy-ins too while I'm there. So success rate with staking those two ladies is 0%...and it's sample size is now approaching about ten events! Time to get it in gear, ladies!!!! Once that is done...I have a couple other things I'm looking at. I've NEVER played a single tournament in Europe, and have wanted to for quite a while. I've also never played in Australia, and wanted to play there, too. I'm looking at an EPT event in Prague the first week of December. Lots of big buy ins, and they draw incredible field sizes. Furthermore...I've always been enamored with the beauty and history of Prague. It's a really old city, with incredible architecture. A lot of things I was excited about seeing when I went to Scotland and London. Also...if I go to Prague...and fly 1st Class with Delta...I will accumulate 16,500 MQMs...(million qualifier miles) which is EXACTLY what I need to maintain my Platinum Medallion status...which comes with a LOT of nice perks!!! I think the trip to Australia would get a similar amount, maybe even more. So...nothing solid on that yet! trip I DO think we are going to make...and that I think I will get to bring Carley and Squirrel with me on...AND meet Barth (the buddy I own the two-soon to be three bars and restaurants with) down there the WSOP International Circuit event in Aruba. The timing of it is great. Carley is out of school for Thanksgiving the whole if we leave the Thursday before, we can get to Aruba in time for me to fire a bullet in Flight A and if necessary, also Flight B of their Main Event...which is $1700. That will be the only event there I play. And if I bust on THUR or FRI...guess what? We have 3 or 4 days to do nothing but enjoy Aruba as a family! If I happen to get deep? Well, Cheryl has been there before and knows her way around the she can go off gallivanting with Carley and have fun together. Delta was nice enough to give me a $200 flight credit for ruining my luggage on the trip to Scotland, and another $500 flight credit for not getting my golf clubs on the connecting flight out of Boston...and not getting them to me until my third day there. They ALSO gave me the $1400 I had to spend to rent clubs, shoes, and buy clothes to wear, since all of my golf stuff was in my golf travel bag. I have to say...with all the troubles I've had with Delta over the years...they've really treated me well the past few years. definitely HELPS when you are GOLD, PLATINUM or (of course) DIAMOND Medallion customers.  So...THAT is what's up on my poker agenda for the rest of 2019. We have a trip to Nashville planned the weekend of Sept 28th...where we are going to the Carrie Underwood concert, then staying with Squirrel's family up there for the weekend. I'm trying to talk Squirrel into letting us go to the Alabama vs Ole Miss game that weekend...but she seems to think it will be too much. So do I even ASK about shooting home early Sunday so we, or just I (with a buddy) go to the Sunday night game in New Orleans against the hated Cowboys??? Oh! And the weekend BEFORE THAT ONE...I'm contemplating flying out to Seattle with some Saints meet up with some of my fellow Seahawk fans from go to THAT game! season gets pretty crazy around here!!! The pools keep me busy...especially the football SQUARES that I run...which over the past 3 seasons...has average about 300 boards per season! And the accounting work involved with that is crazy! I've had a few spreadsheet gurus create sheets that would supposedly speed up the process. And another software engineer is beta-testing a site solely dedicated to JUST running Squares pools...inspired by me! Pretty cool. But I am trying hard to get out from under the hours and hours of accounting work associated with giving my 100's of pool players non-stop entertainment during the football THIS sister has asked if I can train her new girlfriend how to do the accounting work, as she lost her job as a poker dealer when it became known that she was dating one of the poker sister. Whooops! So as she is now living with my sister...she's kind of needing a financial boost. So in addition to my sister and I both chipping in now to support my mom who is living with her...I'm going to provide a way for her girlfriend to contribute! Hey! Look at me creating jobs!!!! If she "gets it" this is going to be a wonderfully delightful football season!!!  Anybody wanna talk about politics? Ha! do NOT want me going there! I could write for five or six hours...promise. I've thought about starting a video blog that ONLY deals with my views on politics. I guess I would go with the moniker of Mayor Monkey or something catchy like that. Why do I think anyone would even WANT, let alone RESPECT my position on things political? Shit...I don't know. I guess I've just had a ton of people tell me I really seem to know a lot about the topic, and that they really like what I have to say. I mean...I took a few political science courses in college, and it was one of my favorite subjects. I just see politics as something that is lacking TRUE leadership, and REAL difference-makers...and a lot of opportunists. And it pisses me off. This current batch of Democrats has just blown my mind, in so many ways. Some times, I listen to the things they say...and I can't even believe we are cut from the same genetic makeup. And are from the same planet. I think I easily come up with "A Take" at least once or twice a DAY. And I have such a hard time holding my angst. And with Twitter being (who's kidding who) fully a liberal operation, I've found myself getting suspended over and over until finally...they terminated my account for good last month...for referring to Ilhan Omar as a rat-faced traitor using Congress to sabotage our country. Oh....they might TELL US that we have the Freedom of Speech in this country, as afforded us by the 1st Amendment to the Constitution...but we all know that only goes for Liberals. Yes..I am back on Twitter...NO...I am not telling you my new name...not HERE any way. It's a pretty dubious won't guess it!!!! So...yeah....anyway...maybe there is a Video Blog in the future...probably not. We'll just have to wait and see! I will probably write a "Vacation Blog" before too long. Find a day or night where I'm bored or can't fall asleep!!!! Just wanted to drop y'all a line to tell ya whas up!!!! MONKEY
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